White walls
by 13notneeded
Summary: AU mental hospital. Rated M for depressing topics and multiple mentions of suicide/murder. Will contain some pairings but no smut. Please, do not copy this idea since I put a lot of work into it.
1. Chapter 1

"Sometimes I honestly wonder how are _you_ a doctor and not a patient here!" a loud yell was heard down a long hallway with white walls. All the people outside of their rooms turned their heads towards the sound, only to see the young white-haired doctor rushing out of his office, followed by a taller male with an innocent grin plastered on his face. It was quite a usual pic around here and since there was nobody new on this floor, everyone was already used to yelling and fights these two always had. Sometimes it started even before the morning coffee! The older, yet shorter, male was no one but the senior consultant at this hospital. The other one was just one of the regular doctors. The two of them often disagreed even over the silliest things and the only reason the taller of them was still working here was the difficulty of finding someone to fill his position.

Michael, the consultant, immediately headed to the office of another doctor while the other doctor went to see some of his patients. Michael shut the door behind him, looking at the tall hard-working figure behind the desk. Although his pride didn't allow him to admit it, he was glad the other was here.

"So, Uriel," he spoke up, getting the other to look up from the pile of papers he was currently filling, "When is the new patient coming here? I would hate to miss his arrival. That would be rude and would also increase the chance of _him_ showing them around which is something I want to avoid at all costs."

Uriel nodded, serious as ever when it came to work. Especially in front of Michael, he almost never took off the cold mask. Although he respected the other as his senior and higher-up, he had problems respecting him as a person. Always demanding perfection, the white-haired doctor was very hard to please. One wrong step and anyone could be fired... if only there were enough people willing to take over all the work. Which there weren't and Uriel was sometimes really happy for that. He had no doubt Michael would fire half the staff if he could do so with no consequences. At the same time, he was sure he was safe in his position. Dealing with most of the paperwork of the hospital, he was the person who knew about everything going on. He only got the opportunity to this all because Michael trusted him, maybe even more than he should, considering who they worked with. And today, there was going to be yet another person to come and get locked here, in the golden cage as the other doctors sometimes called it.

"He will be here around noon. I already sent Jeanne to prepare his room." Uriel answered, refering to one of the nurses, "Basing on the report, I think it might be paranoia or hallucinations."

"Or multiple personality disorder." Michael added but not really smiling, "That one is always a possibility though. But we can't just dismiss that idea. I really hope it's not the case. Well, anything else I should know about him? If not, I'll just-"

"The name, Michael." Uriel held up a paper with the new-comer's information. He had his reasons to do so and as much as his superior doubted he'd find anything interesting about the name at all, he indeed did. Not only interesting, it was something that left him breathless for a while, just staring at the sheet in front of his very eyes. He ripped it from his coworker's hand and immediately left the room. The taller man let him go. After all, he knew how Michael felt. It was the same for him when he saw the picture and saw the name too. The name of a certain woman both he and Michael knew and had very close to.

 _"Wait for me, Gabriel!" I called after the running woman, who kept laughing as she ran. It was only a few days after the two of us met in the class. She was pretty much like me, perfect marks, strict parents and going her own way despite everything else. Although we've just got out of high school, she had a clear idea about her life. I adored that about her more than anything else. Helping people. She made me think of my life. Why was I studying medicine? It wasn't like I was intersted in it much. More like my family wanted me to do so. I was always a perfect child so of course I couldn't disappoint them. But she was here on her own, from a family of lawyers. Unlike me, she went here from her own will, deciding to help. I later learnt that she'd been through something tragic before, which left her completely on her own and even with a baby. That was probably one of the reasons for her desicion._

 _I'd only seen her son once. I didn't really have any desire to see him anymore after that. I never liked small kids but he was somehow more annoying than anyone else, knowing he was her child. I used to think I loved her but if I really did, I suppose I would act different towards Grigori too. She often mentioned not having anyone to look after him and I usually made up an excuse so she wouldn't ask me to do it. If I knew what was about to happen that afternoon, I would certainly react to her invitations in a different way. But I was kind of an idiot back then. I didn't realize how easily could she be taken away from me._

 _When I saw it, it was already too late. Red got in the way of my sight and I remember feeling as if it were me who was ran over by a truck back then. The dull pain at the moment wasn't the worst. I didn't believe what I had seen with my own eyes. I spent some time staring at the huge red stain that remained on the road even after she was taken to the hospital. The rest of that day, and following weeks too, had long been covered in a pleasant blur. I don't remember hearing she won't be coming back to school, nor do I know how her funeral was like. In place of those memories is now only a black emptiness. Since then, I have heard nothing of the child of hers, nor her or the family. Or maybe I have but I pushed it all out of my memory._

Looking at the paper in his office, all the memories ran through Michael's head. There was no mistaking it. The one coming to his hospital was Gabriel's very own child. He had to take care of him now, no matter how many times he refused to do so in the past. Those few years changed them both. Grigori was no longer the little boy he used to be, he was a teenager and resembled his mother in every possible way. Michael on the other hand did not change in appearance one bit, safe for dark bags under his eyes from long sleepless nights. But inside, he made a huge change since that incident with his beloved friend. He decided to change the topic of his study, much to his family's disliking, and focus on the one Gabriel chose herself. Helping people maybe wasn't his own dream, but it was hers. If he could do one thing to make her happy in the afterlife, it would be this. Especially now when he was to have Grigori here.

Uriel walked down one of the halls, coming from the pharmacy, he held a small box of pills in one hand, a list of today's visits in the other. Less and less people were coming to see their loved once in here, it was a truly sad thing to watch. He walked around the communal room, noticing a dark-haired male inside. He quickly made a step back to make sure said young man wasn't by himself. Unluckily, that was just the case. With a light sigh, the doctor made his way inside and gave the man a smile, "Good morning, Camio. You're up rather early today. Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

He got a small shake of the head and let out aonther sigh, shaking his own head too, "It's not good to skip meals. Come with me, I'll eat with you after I give doctor Michael some medicine. You can't just stay here all by yourself, it can't help your recovery. Michael said he'd transfer you to a different doctor soon so just for this last time please come with me."

Sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder why did Michael even accept Camio here, in the first place. The fact he was a family was actually the real opposite of any explanation since the head doctor seemed to hate even just talking about any of his relatives, especially about Camio's father, his own brother. On the other hand, the young man was abandoned by that family so maybe Michael simply felt sorry for him, although his illness was different from the other ones they were trying to cure here. But Camio had already been here for a few months with no signs of getting better so Michael decided he needed a different approaching.

Arriving to the cafeteria, Uriel let Camio pick a place to sit and then set his food next to him. Only a very few patients here were allowed a bit of freedom to walk around at morning. Camio needed socializing, that was all, Uriel supposed. Michael thought other way and that was another one of the key reasons for the change of doctors. Camio's new doctor was a kind lady of the name of Maria, who started working here pretty recently. Uriel had not met her properly yet but from what he heard and knew, thanks to his position, he could tell she was a reliable person. She wouldn't give up on Camio for sure. Not at least he was at least a bit better at least.

He returned in his memories to the morning meeting with Michael. The short male surely did seem puzzled by seeing Gabriel's son in the files. And with something so serious too. It was harder to hide than the other might had thought. Gabriel left so suddenly Michael had to spend a week in a hospital himself. Maybe that was what made him make up his mind about working in this part of medical industry? Of course, Uriel couldn't just go and ask about that. He knew just how sensitive that topic was. But Grigori was coming here so sooner or later, Michael would be forced to face the past. No matter how painful it may be.

Camio wasn't eating even now so Uriel reached over to him to hold his hand gently. The other looked at him with a blank expression but finaly reached for a piece of bread to fill his growling empty stomach. He knew Uriel wouldn't give him a rest until he had eaten properly. He honestly hoped the new doctor would be different at least in this. He didn't like being forced into anything. Being on his own pretty much for his entire life made him know well enough when he had to eat and when he could keep going without that. He forced a slice of bread down his throat before the annoying doctor finaly gave him his space.

Standing up from the table now, he was lead to his room and sat down on his bed again. As soon as Uriel left, Camio slipped a few pills from his sleeve. He managed to steal those from the box the doctor had for Michael. That's right. They weren't for Michael's patients. The bitter taste of them made him smile as tears escaped the corners of his eyes. It was the same medicine he knew so well. He swallowed them dry and closed his eyes, laying his cold body on the pure white sheets. Did he really ever have the time to properly appreciate the color? Looking around the room, he noticed everything was the same. White walls, white floor, white sheets. Now he really wished he took more time to look around before he ate the pills. His eyes started closing and his mind drifting away into sleep. He needed rest for a long time. Yes, all he wanted to do was rest. Nothing else was needed now. He could just forget everything.

Maria had just arrived to the hospital, meeting with William, a rather young doctor, on her way from the parking lot. Saying their good mornings to each other, they parted ways right at the enterance. The woman headed immediately to Michael's office to get a key of her new patient's room. She went around a few rooms and unconsciously looked in them through the glass part of the door. What she saw could pretty well shock most people, yet she was used to the same sight. A young man, sitting on his bed, nibbling on his own fingers and staring at the opposite side of the room. He was shivering and once in a few minutes, his body shook more violently. He was one of William's patients. The one with the longest way to a complete recovery.

The blonde boy was coming now from behind her where he had his office, heading straight to this door. With a gentle smile she wished him luck, earning the same from him. Luck was really all they needed in here. No amount of knowledge, no school could ever prepare them for the real deal. She stayed just for a while to watch William greeting the patient and having a morning chat with him, as he usually did. Somehow, this very scene before her eyes was more calming than anything else she has ever seen. The patient calmed down as soon as he noticed the doctor inside and the chat went on in somewhat peaceful atmosphere. How she wished all of her own patients were like this!

Finaly coming to Michael's office, she noticed immediately he was out. The door was slightly opened. She didn't look inside, knowing all too well her superior hated it when someone did so. At least she closed the door and leaned against it as she was waiting for him. It probably wouldn't take long anyway. Knowing Michael, he was only scolding one of the doctors or the nurses and that usually kept him busy for only small amount of time. Not to mention it was almost time for his medication. Maria herself had no idea as of what kind of treatment it was, nor why was Michael willing to swallow that many pills, but she knew he would never miss the right time. And the time was just coming.

She heard quick steps from the corridor and, looking up from the floor, saw exactly the one she was waiting for. He was always exactly on time, the other doctors sometimes even said they could use him instead of wristwatch. The doctor replied to her polite greeting and before he asked what she needed, he invited her in his office and took the pills prepared on his table. Though, he did have kind of a puzzled look as he only counted three of them. He then gave her the key she needed together with the files of the patient and let her go do what she needed to.

The patient's name was Camio Caxton. Maria was sure she had never once seen him or his room since it was in another part of the hospital than her office. But arriving in there, she found a young man she saw a few times during lunch or breakfast, when she sometimes spent the night in here as well. Right now, he seemed to be sleeping. However, the doctor decided it would be safer to check. She opened the door, stepping in. Camio's quiet breathing was all she could hear. Yet, something was off about this all. She stayed quiet, looking around the room before it suddenly hit her. The breathing was _too_ quiet!

She ran to her patient and tilted his head back, relaxing his neck like that. Oxygen started flowing in his lungs again and she sighed in relief. This could had ended in a tragic way if she didn't happen to check on him right now. He was still in deep slumber but she couldn't help a smile making it's way up to her face. She had just saved his life. It was a pleasant feeling. Maybe one day he would even thank her for that. She let him sleep while she filled the report chart and put it beside other files in his folder. Everything had to be recorded in here. She also wondered what was that boy Isaac doing when he was supposed to watch the camera records to see if everyone was alright. But he, too, was just a human and she could understand a simple mistake. She decided to hand the report to Uriel rather than Michael so that the later doesn't have to get mad. She was sure he had enough of his own problems with his own patients. Ah, that's right! Wasn't there a new one coming today?


	2. Chapter 2

The dark-haired male watched as the flame gently licked paper above it. The tiny spark itself was something beyond terrifying for him. Fire crackled through everything, changing it all to nothing but dust and smoke. He felt his breath stuck in his throat as he kept watching, fascinated and horrified at the same time. One red piece of paper fell to the ground, making him flinch. He could already see the grass burning brightly. Memories came flooding through his head, making it throb in intense pain and his breathing became even more unstable. Was that smoke filling his lungs? His entire body felt hot as well. He gripped his shirt, pulling it away from his skin, only to be met by a cold hand on his own, snapping him out of the confusion.

His blonde doctor grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from his smoking coworker. Being a patient allowed to have walks had it's up and downs, even if these walks were with William. They were the only times he could be completely sure his doctor would only focus on him, not getting distracted by anyone else. He only hoped the other saw them the same way. That he also saw them as pleasant and calming. Usually at least. Today started horribly just because of that damn smoking bastard who dared to call himself a doctor! The man couched a bit as he followed William. The air had surely gotten cold recently. Was the winter so near? He didn't even realize what time it was. This Christmas would mark a full year since he came here. And yet, nothing really changed. Even the slightest, tiniest flame still burned into his soul as the worst nightmare. He only hoped there would ever be a chance for him to actually recover. If not, he was just wasting everyone's time here. His own and William's the most.

He was so burried in his thoughts he didn't notice William calling his name until he felt the doctor's cold hand touching his cheek. Looking up in a rush, his red eyes met the green ones, giving him a feeling of safety immediately. He didn't quite understand it but thanks to William, he always felt much more at ease. He didn't really like the other doctors. Michael seemed very harsh, not sensitive one bit. Miss Maria was his real opposite but maybe too kind for him. He didn't deserve that much kidness. Then there was Uriel, the smoking man who's eyes were cold as ice. Why did he become a doctor was a complete mystery. Metatron was too cheery and happy for this place and got often scolded by Michael. From what the patient heard before, the consultant was of the opinion Metatron should be locked in one of the treatment rooms.

Who else was there? Surely some people but he didn't really meet them yet. Although he was here for so long, there were quite a lot of people he didn't know. From all the other patients, he only sometimes met Camio and recently even the new boy, Grigori. He still remembered his first month here and being called "the new one" by the stuff. Though for some reason, they weren't talking about Grigori much. He supposed the boy would be out fast but it's already been two months since he came, fulfilling the unspoken rule of the hospital: no changes within a month, no changes ever. If there was even the most simple and basic of any proves of any progress, the boy might still had a chance.

"Dantalion, what's going on?" William asked, once again having to snap his patient back to reality this afternoon, "It's alright. The fire from Uriel's cigarette can't get close to you. It's snowing anyway so there's no way anything would even start burning."

Dantalion knew all too well that if William wanted to, he could start a fire even in the middle of the ocean, the boy was smart enough for that and that made him sort of an authority in the patient's eyes. The doctor wasn't talking about the scientifical possibilities on purpose. At this point, he knew it could only harm the older man. Although of course William Twining knew what they said about staying in this hospital for some amount of time, he believed in his skills maybe more than anyone else in here. He felt he _could_ get Dantalion out sooner or later. And until then, he just needed to be careful with every step and every mention of fire. One wrong move and all his hard work over the two years would come to complete waste. He really didn't want to lose all the progress he had made with the older man so far, although he knew for sure that if Dantalion was to rehabilitate, he might never see him again. He refused to admit it but even only the thought of that made his heart ache already. This one patient meant more than he was willing to admit.

Taking the other's hand, William lead Dant back inside the hospital. It was enough of outsides for one day. Not to mention he had to make sure all of his patients got their medicine on time. He couldn't afford not making this, that he considered his duty as a doctor. Especially now when so many of them were getting better. At the door, he got ran into by a shorter ginger-haired male. He let out a surprised gasp, and one more when Dantalion actually caught him, before looking at the man though. A sigh then left his lips, recognizing exactly who it was just here.

"Good afternoon, Isaac." he greeted as he was getting out of his patient's arms. He wasn't the one who needed help, was he now? He shouldn't be bothering Dantalion with things like this. And because of Isaac too... How long has it been since Maria found him not paying attention to the cameras?

"Ah, sorry, William!" the younger man quickly apologized and gave a nervous smile, "I didn't see you here. Were you out with Dantalion? It's such a nice weather today. I was asked to go get Maria something small and sweet so I was in a bit of a hurry."

William was seriously doubting that. Why on earth would the said doctor send this certain guy for something sweet when she could as well just go to the personel room and get it herself from there? She would only send Isaac to town to buy something if she didn't want anyone to know about the consumation. Of course, it did not take William's briliant brain much time before his face lit up with a smile as well and he looked over his shoulder at Dantalion, "Well then. You better get me something too. Chocolate would be nice. And for Camio, I recommend the vanilla rolls. You know, the ones they sell in that sweets shop."

Giving a wink, all three suddenly felt almost like doing some illegal activity. Even Dantalion had cheered up for some time at the mention of the favourite sweet. Yes, dark chocolate was one of his secret passions only his doctor knew about. He hoped so at least. If any other doctor knew, he might be in trouble and William as well, that was the last thing he'd ever want. William already helped him a lot even though according to most others there was nothing anyone could do with him. This person lit up his days when all he saw was darkness as deep as the ocean and at the same time as hot as flames of Hell itself. One part of his now actually wanted to stay here just so that he could be with him. Perhaps the main reason for nobody getting out after a month here wasn't because they were really untreatable? Becoming bond to this place... yes, he certainly was. Bond to William.

He didn't think that was a problem though.

 _I entered a cold white room and sat down on equally cold iron chair behind a table of the same material. For all I'd knew, they were about to see if I really was to be placed in here. I had no idea what to expect. My doctor told me to make an appointment here after he gave up on me. But it wasn't my fault... was it? I had no idea what to think since she disappeared from my life. Was my fate really loneliness?_

 _'Yes, it's always been that way!'_

 _The familiar voice whispered me in the ear, leaving me with blank eyes staring at the metal of the table. Of course it was right. It was always right, never mistaking a single detail. After she passed away... why were they not around when she was? Although just studying, I remember her to be kinder than all the doctors. And kinder than_ him _... Why did she leave while he stayed? If only could I see her one more time, I would still not know what to say to her._

 _The door opened. I was not expecting them this soon. Shadows started rolling before me as my vision blurred. I didn't remember I started crying, so why was I when they appeared? Swirling blackness all around turned the walls to grey and black. Fingers running through my hair, I remember I was screaming. The cold metal pressed against my forehead, multiple times, as they sat and watched me in all silence. Were they not seeing all this? Was it all just in me again?_

 _A light appeared as a hand slipped on my cheek. The darkness was gone for just a slight moment. The light coming from the man in white was so intense... Was he an angel? I heard a low hiss behind me. They did not like him. I knew I would very soon. A smile on his face, a gentle hand of his on my own, a frown on the face of him who stood behind, still at the door. Was I doing wrong now when I stayed close? Was I doing wrong when I jolted away from the light? What was I supposed to do? Nobody ever told me. Nobody but the voices no one heard. Why was it me who had to hear them? I never asked for them..._

 _"Tell me, Grigori," he who sat on the other side of the table asked, he who was full of light, "I don't care for what your doctor said. What is it that you're seeing and hearing that I don't?"_

 _"The demons." I replied with a tremble so obvious I felt ashamed for it. Yet, my voice was different when my lips next parted. I was afraid, panic taking over me as I heard that familiar voice yet again, this time melting in with my own, "And Grigori isn't here right now."_

As Michael left the room, the levander-haired male threw himself on the comfortable bed in the corner. Well, not comfortable at all but it was the best he could get here. Some things hadn't changed since the first day he'd been here. The light was still here, all surrounding his very own doctor. And even some of the others were surrounded by the same light, none of it as bright as the counsel's though. How was the young boy supposed to choose who to put his trust in? He could no longer rely on his eyes and ears, most of his visions and hearing already muted thanks to the drastic medicine. Drastic for his demons it was, soothing for his soul however. Had he ever wanted to hear and see it all again, avoiding the medicament would not be that hard. Michael had to take his own so he could just pretend to swallow the pills, leaving them safely in his mouth.

Then he would take them out and put them under the sheets, inside the pillow, wherever else. If he was to go out, he might even spit them somewhere less noticable. He could do all of these things... if he only ever wished to see and hear it all fully again. He was sure they were furious now. The two of the demons possessing his body especially. No matter Uriel's explanations of why they weren't that, Grigori refused to call them any other way. Demons driving his mind to a complete disorder, to insane desire to die, just like his mother did, to escape all of the pain at once and for all... the desperacy behind that was real. Yet, he would keep them in control better now. The angelic light he still could see was enough of a proof there will be better times. Even if not soon, sometimes at least. He was afraid of death, craving it at the same time. It was like a strong desire growing passionately in his very heart, rooting deep down through the entirety of his soul.

He wouldn't give up. He wouldn't lose to them, as of now. Although the poor boy was so enjoying the effects the medicine had on his voices, he couldn't help the feeling of helplessness as he stayed in the bed the whole day, unable to even walk much. His body was suffering with the medicament, more than he could ever had imagined. But the sickness was now easier to fight. All of that was just thanks to Michael, wasn't it? For sure it was. He didn't feel like this with his previous doctor, no matter the fact he was supposed to have much more experience than this one. Yes, he had to try as hard as he could to get better!

 _"The demons." he said, shivering from head to toe as if he had a fever. Though I was sure that was never the case. He looked healthy, just like Gabriel always did. I was about to ask more, to get him to talk. The questions seemed to burn marks in my tongue and it was becoming hard to hold them all in. Then he suddenly spoke up again: "And Grigori isn't here right now."_

 _Great! As if we needed more trouble. This boy was already giving me a headache. I knew this wouldbe hard just by looking at him, he didn't need to show me all he'd got. A quick glance behind me made me sure Uriel was currently useless again, probably either shocked or not paying attention at all. I was just glad I took the pills before this so I didn't have to risk being late. I couldn't afford being late with this sort of stuff. Being late could mean some pretty ugly things to me. And all I could do was grit my teeth and fight them on my own. The last thing I could need was another patient. But if I passed this one over to Uriel, there wouldn't be really a chance of him getting better. William was out of question, given he already had more than enough patients on his own and Maria just got the depressed man Uriel could no longer quite handle. I could let Metatron deal with this one... no, I couldn't. And Heavens protect me if I ever did something that stupid!_

 _"Where is he then?" I asked softly, struggling to keep my calm. It was getting hard around Grigori. I felt like those innocent big blue eyes could see right through me and all the masks I put on because of others. In front of this boy, I suddenly felt naked, vulnerable and defenseless. Of course I knew my mind was just playing tricks on me but it was really hard to focus on anything else. Especially now when I had this teenager in front of me, smiling and no longer in shivers. This was someone completely different from who I saw just a few seconds before. Multiple personality disorder, I closed the case in my head._

 _"Oh, he is safe for now. Let's talk for now, doctor." the person asked, leaning over the table and running a hand through my white hair, "I don't like you and you won't like me. If we are to co-exist, we will have to tolerate each other. However, I am not so sure about the third person sharing this little body with us. We might as well just accidentaly end up ripping him apart one day. I don't want that to happen. I bet you have some good medicine in here, right?"_

 _I felt my eyes widening. Did that really just happen? There was no doubt Uriel heard the same words as he came with a reply quicklier than me. But I didn't really listen to him and neither did that creature, person, whatever it was, on the other side of the table._

 _"Who are you?" I asked, this time without that polite smile. It wasn't but another empty mask. A grin came as a reply and I found myself yet again staring into those angelic blue eyes._

 _"I am Sitri. One of Grigori's personal demons. Nice to meet you, doctor Eden."_

Michael stood in front of one of the patient's rooms, breathing heavily when Jeanne found him. She was looking for him for some time already and was just heading to Metatron's office to ask him. Surely enough, the blond woman was very fond of the senior and sometimes she even seemed a bit overprotective. But since the doctor was even shorter than her, one could hardly even blame her for that. Yet, she did not want to find him in such state. It was clear to her what happened. Without a word she took his arm and put it around her own shoulders to support her elder on the way to his own office. There he would get his own medicine and calm down. At least she hoped so.

Before leaving, however, she took a look at the name on the door. Grigori Cartwright. She heard that name before. He was the new person in the hospital. The one who sometimes cried all nights, the one always keeping Michael present as if this very building was his second home. But she understood the desire to help, the passion he had. That was why she joined as well. She always felt inspired by him, even now he kept amazing her with his every action. At first she just wanted to be a normal doctor, a pediatrician maybe, but after meeting with Michael, she changed her mind, studying psychology instead. She was grateful for that now. She could had stayed close to Michael's side all this time. And today, she would at least help him out a bit, hoping to one day repay all he did for her.


End file.
